fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
