Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
