HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
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With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
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I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize