Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
her vagine was all disorganized.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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