someone get that fucking seahorse.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
