Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
