Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
