Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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