I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
