apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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