Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
