She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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