Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
