don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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