I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
