After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
