My nipple is on Facebook.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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