Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
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She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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