no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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