i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she told me i tasted like america
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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