yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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