and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
