I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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