one two three fourrrrnication!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize