Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
