I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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