so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
