Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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