Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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