the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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