At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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