Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I came so hard my ears popped.
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