Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize