Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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