would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
