She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
