hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
