It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
