sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
