Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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