Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
