We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
