I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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