My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
