Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
