my mouth tastes like poor choices
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
