I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
