If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
