I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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