if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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