Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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