ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Drake has all the answers
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
