i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
