You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
