Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
