She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
