I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
