So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
