I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
