ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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